Camelot
by Tora Macaw
Summary: One afternoon, a large group of assorted prince of tennis boys sit down to watch a Monty Python DVD, then at dinner, some of them start to dance and sing with crazy results.


Camelot.

As sung by prince of tennis boys. Setting: The main hall at team selection training.

Note: Having seen the episodes, I know that half the players mentioned here are absent, but I just couldn't resist adding them in. After all, I love Mori Tatsunori as I write him, Prankster genius at large!

The movie " Monty Python And The Holy Grail", first hit the cinemas 20 years ago and was very popular in its day. Now, its been released on DVD with lots of extras. The words of the songs sung in this fic are exactly as they are in the movie.

Rated PG 13 plus for coarse language and one mention of certain male anatomy...

Disclaimer: I do not, repeat...DO NOT own Prince of Tennis! Excuse me while I cry. I sure as heck don't own the rights to any Monty Python, T.V or Movie and songs. I did however buy the DVD. PAID MONEY! not making any! Sniff...

Story: Tora Macaw.

Maybe I could call this: Seigaku Mamushi and the unholy Idiots. ( I'm in a weird mood.)

The entire assorted team of players had been given a rare afternoon off, and had gathered in their common room to watch a comedy DVD movie about a group of misfit knights on a search for the holy grail. As the subject of the movie was discussed up and down the long bench tables, Eiji laughed when Oishi mentioned the dreaded monster of Arrrgggghhh!.

Leaning in close to his friend, the red head's azure eyes sparkled as he cheerfully recalled his favorite scene. " It was the song of ' Brave Sir Robin' nya!"

Overhearing his team mate's remarks, Momo' chuckled into his glass of juice and muttered, " Yeah.." Brave" Sir Robin!" Sitting beside the bristle-haired youth, Ryoma smirked and reached for a can of ponta.

Pushing back his chair, Eiji stood up; then held up his right hand as though holding invisible reins, and playfully shuffled forward in half skip while saying; " Maa..It was so funny! The brave Sir Robin riding out with his band..."

All around, talk suspended as eyes turned to watch the prancing teenager with various degrees of amusement as the fire-haired youth from Seigaku " Rode" before his teams table and started to sing.

" Bravely bold Sir Robin, rode forth from Camelot. He was not afraid to die, oh brave Sir Robin!"

Up at the coaches table, Tezuka bent his head and wearily held the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger as he firmly stated under his breath that he didn't know the red head. Hearing his friends chuckle and quietly urge him on, Eiji travelled to the end of the bench and pranced before the grinning faces of Fudomine.

" He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways, brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin"

Over in the Rikkai group, Kirihara whispered to a nearby Bunta; " I wonder how many nasty was we can kill him?"

Undaunted by the teams wave of amused laughter, Eiji turned toward them and sung directly at the ebony-haired singles star.

" He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken."

Tachibana growled alittle at this as he remembered what the demonic youth had once done to his leg, but smirked along with everyone else as Kirihara squirmed uncomfortably. On the Hyotei table, Jiroh woke up from his doze and excitedly pointed when he saw what his friend was doing. Trotting in the sleepy youth's direction, Eiji sang the next verse.

" To have his knee caps split and his body burned away, and his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin."

Snorting, Atobe half turned away with a low grumble of " Peasant." While Tezuka wondered if he should put a stop to the silly display.

" Oh let him play." said the amused voice of Hanamura on his right. " He has worked hard..let him have his fun."

Nodding sagely, Tezuka sat back and folded his arms as Eiji made his way over to where the members of Jyousei sat.

" His head smashed in and his heart cut out, and his liver removed and his bowels unplugged, and his nostrils raped and his penis split and..."

Tezuka's head shot up the crude lyrics and he stood up to glare sternly at his team mate.

" Kikumaru! That's enough!"

" Nya...sorry Tezuka." Mumbled Eiji as he started to slink back to his seat in total defeat.

Standing and pointing at the golden pair player, Mori opened his mouth and sung out mockingly for all the world to hear; " Brave Sir Robin ran away, bravely ran away, away! When danger reared its ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled..."

Indignant, Eiji sat down and called out; " I'm not fleeing!"

Skipping about before his pushed back chair, Mori kept right on singing. " Yes brave Sir Robin turned about and gallantly he chickened out! Bravely taking to his feet, he beat a very brave retreat..bravest of the brave Sir Robin!"

" But I didn't run from Tezuka! I ..." Huffing sulkily, Eiji allowed himself to be sat down by Oishi gently exerting pressure on his shoulder. Strolling out to stand before his friends, Mori picked up a discarded tennis racket, then held it before him with both hands as he tossed a superior look Seigaku's way.

" If your going to sing that lame-o song, then how about this?"

Hunching over and bowing his head, Mori moved in a slow, deliberate shuffle and started to chant in a deep monotone.

" Pies lesu domine...dona eis requiem..."

Pausing in his speaking, Moir dealt himself a whack to the forward and kept on chanting. Sniggering, Uchimura leapt up to join him, his voice blending with Mori's.

" Pies lesu domine...( whack ) ...dona eis requiem..."

Some of the players roared with laughter and a smirking Kirihara joined in.

" Pies lesu _Fudomine_...( whack)...dona eis requiem..."

Most of the room joined in Fudomine's giggle at Mori and Uchimura's word play, only to stop when Atobe's smooth voice rang out.

" Ore Sama's delicate ears can't take anymore! " Sweeping the room with a glare the wealthy youth smirked; " If you all must make fools of yourselves, then it least sing something that's less like a death march!"

Jumping up, his eyes shinning with delight, Jiroh cried out; " Can we sing the Camelot song? Please Atobe?"

Standing with regal majesty, Atobe brushed back his hair and aristocratically proclaimed; " Camelot!"

Beside him, Jiroh stood and breathed wonderingly; " Camelot!"

Pushing to his feet, Sengoku smirked then pointed dramatically; " To Camelot!"

Seated close by, Kirrihara sneered; " It's just a model."

Waving his right arm in a grand, sweeping gesture of royal aplomb, Atobe announced to his amused audience; " Knights! I bid you welcome to your new home! Camelot!"

Leaping to their feet, half of the Seigaku team started to sing lustily.

" We're Knights of the round table..."

Springing on to one of the dining halls long benches, the members of Yamabuki joined in and sung as they danced.

" We dance whenever we're able! We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impecc-able! We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and spam alot!"

All about, tennis players laughed, shouted and clapped out a lively beat as Yamabuki danced with heavy, stomping steps.

Standing off to the side, a group of St Ruldolf students whipped out flutes and guitars to offset the clapping, stomping singers.

Yamabuki and most of Seigaku danced in line, then turned to lift their right legs in a high kick that unfortunately( due to lack of space), resulted in a well choreographed kick up each others rear ends. Snapping his leg out at Momo' for planting his toes far up Kaido's tail pipe, the 'Mamushi' lashed out; only to accidentally boot Horio as he danced past.

Arms around each other, Gakto and Yuusi sung: " We're knights of the round table.."

Momo' took a flying leap off the bench to sail past them as the group prancing on the table began to face forward and kick a lively cancan as they yelled; " Our shows are formid-able! But many times we're given rhymes that are quite unsing-agable..."

Spinning in circles, the table dancers laughed as Mori ripped down a curtain, flourished his arm and sung; " We're opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm alot!"

Up on the table, the dancers linked arms over shoulders, then pranced their way round a junction where two benches met. In the corner, Kabaji quietly clapped in time to their steps.

Now the chorus line broke into a fine tap dancing routine while Kirihara snatched up two tennis rackets and drummed on the heads of those still sitting. Horio made the mistake of passing to close and was knocked out by a wild arm swing. To escape the red-eyed fiend drumming on their skulls, the players leapt up to swing their arms in a sailors dance and joined their voices to those of the others.

" In war we're tough and able! Quite In-fati-gable!"

Springing from the bench, the dancers rushed forward, then spun around to leap back up and jump up and down on the spot while loudly singing: " Between our guest's we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable!"

Twirling in circles with outstretched arms, they sang: " It's a busy life in Camelot.."

Suddenly, Tezuka pushed to his feet, his scrapping chair sounding like a sonic boom in the abrupt silence as everyone froze and all eyes turned on him. Pushing at his glasses, Tezuka rumbled in a very deep voice; " I must put up with crap a-lot!"

Explosive whistles and cheering rang out as the room went mad and Tezuka calmly sat down again. Eiji whispered to Oishi as the song and dance resumed; " But thats not the right wording nya!"

Laughing fit to burst, Momo' quipped: " What does it matter? at least he joined in!" Grabbing Ryoma around the waist and expertly waltzing him about, the bristle-haired youth whirled the shorter boy past the table dancers as they cancanned, jumped up and down on the spot, then cancaned some more before leaping off the table for a big arm waving finale.

Sitting down primly as the room burst into thunderous applause, Atobe smirked at a now slumbering Jiroh at his side and muttered as he lifted his tea-cup to his lips; " You know, on second thoughts lets not go to Camelot..'tis a silly place."

Endless...

The correct wording is: I have to push the pram a-lot!

Ok! So I was in a VERY strange mood when I wrote this! It was the result of 48 hours of very little sleep over a long weekend.

( and yes, I did watch this movie with about a few other sugar high, sleep devrived idiots at 3am!)

I was not going to post this, but when my son said, " Go on...dare you to"... Well...the rest is history!

Please don't shoot me...oh heck...


End file.
